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Conversational hooks and not having to initiate every topic

pus_in_boots

Registered Member
Okay, so any idiot should know how to start and carry a conversation. That's just a given, its a non-issue. But what are those hooks that a guy can use to get a woman to really pick up on a topic and carry it without a constant back-and-forth of question-response-feedback. In other words, what is it that makes a girl get all chatty about something? Because I've observed similar topics intiated differently by different guys and I've seen very different responses from the girl involved. I should be able to ask a girl "how's life" in a way that actually gets her talking about herself rather than just "yeah its alright", 'cause nothing kills a conversation and the whole vibe of the interaction faster than a series of short questions followed by a series of short answers. Especially if said guy actually likes this girl.
 

konboye

Registered Member
Placate her ego, tell her she is the ish but don't go kissing her ass, she will know you are just bullshitting. :nod:

Talk about something thats important to her, eg what she does for a living but only if you know a lot on the issue.

Or talk about what you want to do, how you are about getting things done. Accomplishing goals and stuff like that.

It all depends on the circumstances though, don't jump to conclusions and always try to keep it light and casual.
 
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Rebeccaaa

yellow 4!
Okay, so any idiot should know how to start and carry a conversation. That's just a given, its a non-issue. But what are those hooks that a guy can use to get a woman to really pick up on a topic and carry it without a constant back-and-forth of question-response-feedback. In other words, what is it that makes a girl get all chatty about something?
For starters, it obviously depends on the girl. You said you've seen similar topics elicit different responses in women; couldn't that be almost entirely due to individual differences and personality types? Regardless, I'm sure someone who feels more comfortable in their surroundings (i.e. with the 'conversation partner') will be more open to expanding on answers. I think you should focus less on trying to find hooks and specific phrasing, and more on making sure you have a relaxed rapport between you and the girl.

I should be able to ask a girl "how's life" in a way that actually gets her talking about herself rather than just "yeah its alright"...
Eh, I wouldn't actually expect much more than that 8 times out of 10 during a first-time conversation. From personal experience, it's very difficult to know when a guy is genuinely interested in getting to know you, or is simply asking generic questions to make small talk. If a guy asked me "how's life" I wouldn't want to bore him with details or take the chance that he actually doesn't really care to hear a full answer.

So basically, my advice would be to start off with the back and forth responses, and get a feel for what she's interested in, etc. Sometimes they are necessary before you get to the deeper stuff, where you can show her you care about what she has to say. :)
 

Kibi

Babeasaurus Sex
I always find humor works best for me...a little bit of cocky ness but mostly just some cheeky charm.

Normally just feeling relaxed in his company makes it easier for me to talk and open up and stuff
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
Some good advice in this thread already. There is just one thing I would like to add though. Showing interest in what she responds with is important. If you are going to cut her off mid sentence or interrupt with your own stories, it will make her reluctant to go in to detail again about anything/some things.

There will be a phase of questions - answers, like Bex said, but if you show interest during this stage, she will go in to more depth soon.

Good luck dude!
 
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Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
I really think it depends on the person you are speaking with. Some people are shy, some people are outgoing, some people are somewhere in between. If the person you are talking with genuinely likes you then the conversation has the CHANCE to take off. Some people just aren't good at beginning conversations that might eventually turn into something else more substantial.

I don't know if there is necessarily one thing that you can do to make sure the convo keeps on going. If they aren't interested I doubt there's much you can say to grab their attention. I can be a pretty outgoing guy myself depending on my mood but that doesn't always mean every convo I engage in is going to be awesome. Just keep on trying and see which ones work out but I don't even any specific advice for you unfortunately. Be yourself...how's that? Pretty obvious, right? It works though, trust me. People don't want to talk to fake people.
 
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