• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Chivalry - and Saying Hello

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
Two Questions... One thread... To save me having to make two...

Question 1:
Is chivalry dead? - I'm not talking about dressing up in pots and pans and going out to slay dragons or whatever. I'm talking about the notion of gentlemanly chivalry? If you get me... I suppose I mean the sort where blokes (and women I guess) will act upon a certain situation with that seemingly old sort of custom.
e.g. Men will hold doors for women and do that sort of stuff.
e.g. Where people are prepared, at least in mind, to put them self in great danger for a stranger.
e.g. Stand up for those weaker than them self, especially if they're in peril, or being oppressed or wronged in some way.
e.g. Have a generally chivalrous ideology.

I don't actually know if anyone will know what I'm on about. I get the concept in my own head, can't quite explain it very well though. Meh... ^That. If you have any idea what I'm on about.

--AND

Question 2:
Do you say 'hello' to strangers? Perhaps in passing... Or are you the sort to be more or less suspicious of those you cross? perhaps even properly wary... I'm usually fine with saying hello to most folks I see, in a friendly manner and that. It seems like a normal custom to me, but I am aware of some not being inclined to share the sentiment. I like the courtesy involved with sharing a simple hello... yet I fear the world is going the way in which everyone's gonna ignore everyone unless related, or well introduced...

What do you reckon? Does an 'hello' seem only right if the person is of your age? Does it not seem right at all if they're a stranger? What do you reckon?
 
Last edited:

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
1. I'd say that no, chivalry is alive and well and (hopefully) always will be. It happens in day-to-day society, you just need to keep your eyes open for it. And in talking about "e.g. Stand up for those weaker than them self, especially if they're in peril, or being oppressed or wronged in some way," just look at the shooting in Arizona the other day. People just tackled the gunman as this happened, including one man who literally ran towards the sound of gunfire to help. Plus, as far as the holding doors part, I live that every day. I hold doors for women (and most people in general, not just women), I let people by when driving, etc. You never know what kind of day someone might be having, and small things like that can always help.

2. I reckon (you really like the word, don't you? :) ) that saying hello to people in daily life, or just smiling in their direction, fits with my last sentence above. It's just a good thing to do, a way to promote community and friendship. I usually do at least smile and nod, but it depends on the day. Some cities (such as New York) are still awesome but don't have this sort of thing as much...it depends on the environment. But, in my opinion, being friendly in general is just a a good-natured thing to do.
 

icegoat63

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
For me, I am most definitely Chivalrous. However the vast majority of people I see in public are extremely non-chivalrous. I've seen Teenagers let doors close on Senior Citizens faces. I've said thank you to people and have them look at me like I'm foreign.

However I've always been determined to hold doors for anyone less than 5 steps behind me. If its male I hold it but enter first, if its Female I hold it and allow them to enter first. If they say thank you I always say "You're Welcome". If they happen to hold it for me I always say "Thank you" and I allow them in front of me in line if its a place like starbucks where holding the door puts you 2-3 places back in the order line.
 

Tucker

Lion Rampant
Two Questions... One thread... To save me having to make two...

Question 1:
Is chivalry dead? - I'm not talking about dressing up in pots and pans and going out to slay dragons or whatever. I'm talking about the notion of gentlemanly chivalry? If you get me... I suppose I mean the sort where blokes (and women I guess) will act upon a certain situation with that seemingly old sort of custom.
e.g. Men will hold doors for women and do that sort of stuff.
e.g. Where people are prepared, at least in mind, to put them self in great danger for a stranger.
e.g. Stand up for those weaker than them self, especially if they're in peril, or being oppressed or wronged in some way.
e.g. Have a generally chivalrous ideology.
Chivalry is not entirely obsolete. In my own example, when I mentioned to my ex-wife that two bystanders had wrestled the still-armed Tucson shooter to the ground, she replied with, "That would have been you. I know you. You would have been right in there." This past weekend I held a restaurant door; quite a while, actually, for an older man approaching slowly with a limp.

And yes, I do say hello to strangers, most every day of my life. I'm that guy who starts the small talk in a supermarket checkout line. And I'm not unique; the same thing happens everywhere! Lots of people desire and strive to live by 'knightly' principles. We just lack a unified front.

Does an 'hello' seem only right if the person is of your age?
Where's the logic in that? Hell, I'll chat up any old bus stop ratbag. Only unattended minors and people throwing off a strong antisocial vibe will be intentionally excluded.
 

NeoCaesar

Registered Member
I fight the good fight for chivalrys sake. :) The general trend, with regards to female aimed chivalry from men, is that some situations expect level pegging. I don't prescribe to this and will always try to hold a door open, remember my manners, give up seats etc.

Always say 'Hey'. Unfortunately when people live in big cities they believe they need to be 'streetwise' to survive and to most this means they become downright rude. I think the opposite should be true -manners to prevent crime. For example, I read that walking with your head down, being timid etc. make you a target for muggers. If I'm in a situation where I feel uncomfortable (like a congregation of people outside a store) walking past saying nothing seems more odd to me so head held up high I'll give a hello. I think this shows them that I'm not intimidated.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I never say 'hello' to strangers but I do often smile at them if our eyes meet when we walk past each other.
I'd feel more comfortable saying 'hello' to an elderly person over someone my own age, though. I suppose it's the fear of them asking if I know them or something!

Regarding your first question, I don't think chivalry is dead. Men open doors for women where I work every single day.
There is a long corridor by our reception and some men will stop and hold the door for me even if I am a long way behind them. It always puts a smile on my FACE.

Just the other day there was a kid waiting at the same bus stop as me and he let me get on the bus before him, even though he'd been there longer than me. It was sweet.
 

Impact

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I don't think chivalry is dead at all. Maybe not as common as it seems it used to be, but it's still there. If someone is walking through a door behind me, I hold it open for them, and most people will hold the door for me too. I let people on and off the bus before me, or in front of me while queueing.

I don't say hello to strangers, unless they say hello to me first. I generally always try to smile at old people, because I want to change the mindset they seem to hold about the youth of today.
 

BigBob

Registered Member
I believe it's alive and well like a couple people have mentioned.

I'm that guy that would stand up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves, whether it be because of bullies or whatever which leads me to say I would stop and help a stranger, no matter what the reason.

To the second question, I say hello to everyone if we make eye contact when walking by each other.
 

redroses

Registered Member
chivelry isnt dead but it is dying, people normally still hold doors as it would be rude to let it go in someones face, but very rarely have i seen men pulling chairs out for women, in fact if a man tried to pull a chair out for me id think he would completly pull it away as i went to sit down! lol. i know a couple of guys that let girls have their seats still, but everytime they do it it surprises me tbh.

i never say hello to a complete stranger in the street, in fact i would find that a very strange thing to do.
if i started at a new job or something though i might go over and say hello to some of the people i worked with and introduce myself
 
Last edited:

Dabs

Registered Member
I live in an area of polite people, everyone around here is always holding the door open for one another, no matter the age difference :)
I always try and say a friendly Hello to those you greet me with a Hello....even when I'm not feeling my best or have a zillion things on my mind and might not comprehend that someone is talking to me at first......but I do try and reply back.
But a lot of times.....and it's just the way I am......I walk with my head down, my mind at work on whatever it is I have to be doing that day...and so many times, I don't see another person eye to eye.....I'm sort of lost in my own little world.
 
Top