This can be a very thorny issue for some, I understand that as I myself am a child of divorce. Before I get into this post I'd like to point out that this thread is not an oppurtunityfor me or anyone else to come to gain sympathy. I am fine and have been for a very long time. Also I am not "brave" by posting my experiences because a lot of people had childhoods far worse than mine, mine actually balances out to be very good in restrospect. I see my parents divorce as a positive thing, though devastating at the time it has made me who I am today. I wasn't sure which section to post this in since I didn't think it belonged in "parenting" since my focus is on people who have actually experienced it as a child not a parent. I chose phil/psych because I want to ask how a parental divorce may have effected your behaviour. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way I shall proceed I could just be speaking for myself here but hearing about how "studies" show that divorce effects the mind of a child has always interested me, for obvious reasons. They cover the usual bases "fear of abandoment", "inability to trust / accept new people into their lives etc" and apparantly what age you were when it happened also plays a large part in how you handle it. I was 7 when my parents got divorced and I think the best way to describe the feeling was that I felt like I grieved for the death of our family. My father left my mother for another woman but promised he would always be there for me. This gesture felt like nothing to me, he had become a different person to me. Anyway there were long arguments between my parents and I often felt put in the middle of it all, it became so difficult that I broke off contact with my father entirely. Now it's 13 years later and I have no bad feelings towards, well not many anyway. I hope he's happy I just don't want to have to deal with him. So who else went through this as a child and how old were you? How do you think it effected you? Do you see it now as something positive? It's only fair if I answer these questions too. How did it effect me? Theres a period of time which I dont remember but my mother does that I was apparantly very afraid that she would leave me too. This has carried over slightly into my more adult relationships, particularily my first long term one because I was convinced that she'd leave me for someone else. However I've learned from it and become somewhat more in control of my jealousy. I was lucky in that I have a very good relationship with my mothers new partner and I dont doubt things would have been a lot harder if I hadn't had him to look up to. Now I do see it as a positive thing, my mother is happy with her new fiance and I accept him as my father. My real father and I don't speak but like I previously mentioned I dont wish him anything bad. I just feel indifferent to him. So, does anyone else want to share how this very traumatic childhood event has shaped your life and relationships? Do you resent your parents for it or understand after growing up?