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Buying a Wedding gift

Bliss

Sally Twit
When you go to a wedding, do you buy them a gift or do you give them money?

The only reason I ask this is because I've been invited to a reception and there is a little note with the invite asking for money. Well, it basically says they don't want a gift but would welcome a contribution to their Honeymoon. Is that a normal thing to do? It came across as rude but then I've only ever been to one wedding and that was my sister's. Maybe it's normal to put that.
The thing with giving them money is I'm going to wonder what would be classed as a sufficient amount. I'm not exactly loaded so I don't know if my small donation is going to make me appear tight.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
I think with all of the weddings I've been to, my parents usually were the ones to give the gifts.

The only time I can remember going to a wedding and worrying about the gift myself, I splurged because it was my best friend (and I could afford it).

I think it's not too uncommon to ask for money, but yeah it's a little awkward. They know they'll still get some other gifts, but honestly money does tend to be more practical. If you can get them a great deal on something they couldn't otherwise get, then the gift might be better, but otherwise they can usually figure out what they want to buy better than others can.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
Well, it basically says they don't want a gift but would welcome a contribution to their Honeymoon..
Seriously?????!!!
That's the most awkward and rudest thing I've heard when making an invitation!!!
How can people ask for that?

Personally, I've never been to a wedding where I had to give money/gift.
My parents usually give a little money which is more of a symbolic way to congratulate the couple.
I think it makes no sense for the couple to receive money from the others, though.
If you cannot afford your honeymoon either delay it or don't celebrate it at all. You are the one who's celebrating and inviting people so you have to think twice about it.
 

masey

Registered Member
I give a gift. I have a street artist friend who I get to do a pencil drawing...get it framed and give it to the happy couple.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
I enjoy going to family wedding because then I don't have to buy anything haha.

But for friends over the past couple years I have bought something. Usually its money and a card though.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
Personally I think a wedding invite that states that they don't want a gift, but would rather have a gift towards their honeymoon quite tacky. And it would make me purposely either buy a gift OR donate some monetary amount to a certain charity, instead of giving them cash directly.
 

Shwa

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I've only been to one wedding ceremony where I bought the brides (yes lesbian wedding) a $100 gift card to Target. Everyone will be doing the registry thing at many stores, but I feel like a gift card, they are free to get whatever they need/want without being limited from their choice. So in a sense, it is money, but also a gift too.

~Shwa
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
I don't think it's rude to ask for a contribution to the honeymoon instead of gifts. It's no different than having a wedding registry where you let your guests know what gifts you prefer to receive. I think in this day of economic struggle, the more practical you are with gifts, the better. If you can be straightforward as to what could be more useful to you, then do so. The people you invite to your wedding are probably close enough to understand your situation.

I do look up the registry when looking for gifts. I'd rather get something the bride/groom will need than add to the useless stuff people usually give at weddings (plate sets, home decor, etc) that either the couple will get in triplicates, rendering some of them useless and will be exchanged or given to others. If they don't have a registry, then I ask them what they need/want. Starting a life together is expensive - it starts with the wedding, and the rest of the expenses follow.

Regarding the amount, I guess any should be fine. Any amount helps. But if you want to have some kind of "rule" about it, I heard some consider the cost of plate during reception and give an amount slightly higher than that.
 
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Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
I'm with Shwa on this one. You can never go wrong with a gift card, and I don't have to worry about whether they think my gift sucks or not since they can get whatever they want with it. My cousin's getting married in 7 weeks, and that's what I'm getting her. I just don't know for which store tho - maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond? I dunno.
 

Brandon22

Registered Member
Seriously?????!!!
That's the most awkward and rudest thing I've heard when making an invitation!!!
How can people ask for that?

Personally, I've never been to a wedding where I had to give money/gift.
My parents usually give a little money which is more of a symbolic way to congratulate the couple.
I think it makes no sense for the couple to receive money from the others, though.
If you cannot afford your honeymoon either delay it or don't celebrate it at all. You are the one who's celebrating and inviting people so you have to think twice about it.
really?? I just got married and I was very happy with money and gift cards..the monsy payed for a trip to mexico and many other things and gift card went a very long way..

friends of mine asked for only money and got like 8 gs, money is the thing that most newly weds need most....I don't think is bad to ask for money at all
 
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