Breaks.. not break ups

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by padd, May 29, 2008.

  1. padd

    padd Registered Member


    Just wondered if it was normal for a couple to break up then get back together later.. I always tell my gf "either break up with me or dont.. i dont want that shit newer couple do where they break up yet theyre still dating" It confuses the situation!

  2. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    It happens quite often, I believe. Ppl break up for whatever reason and then realize (after a period) that it was not worth the break up and actually wish to get back together.
    If the relationship isn't serious from the beginning, well imo it's silly to continue such a routine of breaking up and getting back together.
    If the relationship is serious then the couple should think twice before breaking up (for whatever reason) cos it can get frustrating for either side to think of the possibilities of getting back together (though they want it) and why they broke up in the first place..
    I guess what I'm trying to say is that if a couple breaks up they should be damn sure it's what they want to do cos being on the train of breaking up/getting back together is not healthy for the relationship.
  3. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    For me a break from a bf means just time off from him (no dates with him), but doesn't constitute me dating other people. Sometimes we just need space to think about things. Such break will be useless if you still see the bf/gf during the break or when you hook up with another (getting in another relationship with the objective of figuring out your own issues is stupid). From the break, you can either get back together (when you've actually accomplished something from the time off) or decide to fully break up. And that's when you see other people....
  4. green8659

    green8659 Registered Member

    I agree with Bore it happens all the time but if two people are in a mature relationship it should never come to that. A lot of couples are broken up just as much as they are together but still consider it a healthy relationship. I have never broken up with someone and then got back together because I'm rational enough to know if what they did is actually worth breaking up. Breaking up may teach someone a lesson once but after you take them back the first time then they know it isn't really a threat anymore so its never a good route to go.

    Know where you draw the line. Do a pros and cons of staying with or breaking up but don't decide it mad. It is a big decision and deserves a rational attentive mindset. If everyone waited until they calmed down to break up with someone there would probably be many fewer couples playing the together one day and apart the next game. Just my 2 cents.
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
    Boredie likes this.
  5. AdrienneEHouseman

    AdrienneEHouseman Registered Member

    I know people who have on again off again relationships, and it is painful to watch. There are reasons why two people will get back together after having broken up, but they usually involve several years and a gain in maturity.

    On again off again relationships usually aren't healthy. For one, if one partner is more fixated on the relationship, it takes them a lot longer to get past the relationship if it really does end. It also tends to make the final break up a lot worse.

    The reason that some people take "breaks" is something that should be able to be solved by both partners having their own life... Spending time apart on a daily basis is part of what usually makes relationships work.

    My rather long two cents on the matter.

  6. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm with Adri, I don't think it's normal. It's wishy-washy and unhealthy.
    Vegito728 likes this.
  7. Unity

    Unity #AllTogetherNowSTL Staff Member

    I see a ton of my friends breaking up and getting back together over and over and over. I get sick of it. Typically when I'm with a girl I try to have it be an "either we're together or we're not" situation, but I understand that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
  8. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    I think it's ridiculous. If there was a serious enough problem with the person to make you want to break up in the first place, then why waste time getting back together and hoping the problem will magically be fixed?
    When I'm done with someone, I'm done, no looking back.
  9. padd

    padd Registered Member

    I agree with you, thats how things should be. Although it's happend before that i broke up with this girl just to get back with her a week later. But you see here's the tricky part. What if your gf/bf BREAKS with, and you fuck some other guy/girl. would she have a reason to be mad @ you for cheating with her, or not caring about her/him? I mean you're on break/..vacation! you can do whatever you want!
  10. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    You either break up or you don't. It's not complicated.

    I know one couple that broke up after a fairly rushed relationship. They were on the rocks for a long time and weren't friends but the dust has settled and they realized what went wrong and how fast they went. They've begun dating again because they really do like each other and they decided it wasn't worth breaking up. Instead, they're giving each other second chances.

    That sort of thing I can see being okay. I believe in second chances, so why not allow it? However, people that take copious breaks are just in denial, they need to end it and move on.

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