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Best lie(s) you told in a bar

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
I'm not sure if some of you guys love going to the bar(or used too) like me, Sabby, Dickey's flow, but what are some of your best lies you've told in a bar?
 

BJBirdy

Registered Member
Sabby said:
I'm sure I've told several, but I can't honestly think of anything that stands out
I actually don't know if I've ever flat out lied in a bar before (I'm a pretty honest person by nature) but I might have exaggerated stuff before. I truly don't remember. But I remember one night after a Leafs/Sabres game in Buffalo, I was talking to 2 girls, one of whom had a Kessel jersey on and the other who had a Gilmour jersey on. The one in the Kessel jersey had been talking to another guy near the bar (it was more he was talking to her and she was just being nice by listening) and when she came back to the table, I told her "that guy hitting on you looks like CM Punk." She said to me "Who's that?" I said to her "....don't worry about it." :lol:

Later, once we had been kicked out of the bar (the bar abruptly decided it wanted to close at 1:20am, but I think that was cause it only had Leafs fans left inside by this point (there were still 40 people or so in there), we were on the sidewalk when I asked her if it would turn her on to have sex with Phil Kessel while she was wearing his jersey. She kind of smiled shyly and said "yeah" to which I replied "cool, then you'd find out why they call him 'Phil The Thrill' and that he likes to score on AND off the ice." Then she and I made out against the side of the bar.
 

mucker88

New Member
Working in bars for the last 10 years-ish, I've been forced to tell many lies. One, however, stands out more than most. I was working a double one day and one of my buddies was there after ducking out early from work, and was putting in a good 8 hour shift in at the bar. Well long story short, his wife was looking for him and had called the bar a couple times looking for him and I had obviously told her I hadn't seen him, well she called one last time around 9pm and as I'm telling her he still hasn't shown up at the bar she walks in...on her cell phone!! She called him every name in the book and smacked him with his pool cue, and then proceeded to berate me for about 10 minutes for lying to her and to this day hasn't talked to me.
 

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
Sabby said:
I'm sure I've told several, but I can't honestly think of anything that stands out
Well, your lie about being a sports medicine doctor was pretty good. Or something close to that.

---------

Lied several times about my age but that's a given. Most people do that

Once convinced these two broads in Florida that my real name was Bizzy. Took a lot of convincing. They were telling me i was too cute for my mother to give me that name.

Don't know how many times I've said I wasn't drunk ;).

Me and my friends would come up with stories before going. Some of them include one of our friends is leaving for afganistan to fight in the war in a few days.

Pretended that one of us is getting married.

One of my friends convinced a few broads that he was a fighter pilot at my brothers bachelor party.

There's tons more, but can think of those at the moment. Will come back later.
 

BJBirdy

Registered Member
mucker88 said:
Working in bars for the last 10 years-ish, I've been forced to tell many lies. One, however, stands out more than most. I was working a double one day and one of my buddies was there after ducking out early from work, and was putting in a good 8 hour shift in at the bar. Well long story short, his wife was looking for him and had called the bar a couple times looking for him and I had obviously told her I hadn't seen him, well she called one last time around 9pm and as I'm telling her he still hasn't shown up at the bar she walks in...on her cell phone!! She called him every name in the book and smacked him with his pool cue, and then proceeded to berate me for about 10 minutes for lying to her and to this day hasn't talked to me.
How long ago was this?

And Bizzy, how old are you if you have to lie about your age? :shock:
 

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
Meaning that if I was 23 years old at the time and started to chat up with a girl that was 28, I would say that I was either 27-28 years-old myself.
 

TORHABSFAN

New Member
this isn't a lie but it's a funny bar storry.

A guy I knew tried to convince me that picking up girls was all a law of averages thing. Further to that point If he hit on 10 girls 1 would go home with him. He got so cocky that he insisted he could do this with a simple pick up line of "Wanna Fuck?"

So we placed $50 on it and off he went asking girls "wanna fuck?" Needless to say I left that night $50 richer and he was tossed out of the club DJ Jazzy Jeff style after getting slapped around by a few angry girls and even angrier boy friends.

Good times!
 

Sabby

New Member
Bizzy said:
Sabby said:
I'm sure I've told several, but I can't honestly think of anything that stands out
Well, your lie about being a sports medicine doctor was pretty good. Or something close to that.

---------

Lied several times about my age but that's a given. Most people do that

Once convinced these two broads in Florida that my real name was Bizzy. Took a lot of convincing. They were telling me i was too cute for my mother to give me that name.

Don't know how many times I've said I wasn't drunk ;).

Me and my friends would come up with stories before going. Some of them include one of our friends is leaving for afganistan to fight in the war in a few days.

Pretended that one of us is getting married.

One of my friends convinced a few broads that he was a fighter pilot at my brothers bachelor party.

There's tons more, but can think of those at the moment. Will come back later.
Yup thats definitely the winner. Backstory So I'm out at the bar dancing with a cute girl. we're hitting it off, but this other guy looks like he wants in on the action. SO anyways bar closes down and we all go for pizza. This guy keeps spouting off, that he's a med student, a volunteer blabllablablabla. ANyways, I say to myself 'fuck this shit' this girl is mine. Luckily my uncle is a Sports Medicine doctor/surgeon. So i tell him "oh wow, med student that's something, too bad I'm a surgeon" I then go off to pretty much quote my uncle's biography.

As luck would have it, one of my buddies from Crossfit is also a sports medicine doctor and works out of the same university as my uncle. When 'med student' guy said I was full of shit, I name dropped him. Guy quickly changed his tune and assumed I was the real deal. The girl told him to get lost, we made out and I got her number.

Good times
 

TORHABSFAN

New Member
Similar story to what Sabby said. My Cousins used to create fake jobs at bars. All sorts of stuff like they own a company that makes the wheels on that go on shopping carts.. real random shit.

I remember 1 night in a bar in Montreal called Katrina's or something. My dumb cousin tells a girl that he is a professional lacrosse player thinking its passable as not many people actualy know the names of lacross players. the girl then calls him on it and asks him what postion he plays. My cousin doesn't watch lacross and doesn't know the postions so he just blurts out left out. lucky for him the girl doesn't know any better and he did just fine.
 
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