Bad parenting?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Interested, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. Interested

    Interested Registered Member

    I am sitting here and listening to this mother shouting outside. Every single day (EVERY SINGLE), at 7-8 o'clock, she goes outside her house and starts calling her boy. She shouts his name for about five minutes. And now I hear her and think.. I have witnessed many, many bad parents. She is not an example really (although I do not get that need to shout, if you rais your children properly), but I have seen some.

    What is the worst parenting technique have you witnessed? Did you ever think to yourself that "those parents are ruining the child"?

    I have known a family (friends of my uncle) where the father would put all of his three kids to bed at 8pm (the youngst being two, the oldest being 14). If the elder one did not do well at school (and "not well" was considered A-), she would be grounded (well, she wasn't alowed to go out anyway, so she was deprived of any games or tv) or would be beaten with a belt. He would call his kids names (even the two-year-old) and humiliate them all the time. They were expected to behave like adults.

    In another family the mother would beat her daughter up if she had the slightst stain on her dress (she used to be dressed in very light, usually white dresses) or pushed something accidentally while walking. The girl was the most careful three-year-old I have seen. In fact, she was the most careful person I have seen. The mother was so pedantic the girl could not get away with anything at all... She was not acting for her age, did not play much. It made me want to hug her and take away from that witch who was calling herself a mother.

    Have you ever experienced anything similar? Have you witnessed any form of bad parenting or situations where it was obvious parents did not love the child?
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010

  2. DinoFlintstone

    DinoFlintstone "There can be only one!"

    The worst I've seen is a woman, she'd plonk her kids in-front of the TV 24/7. They'd be that engrossed in the TV, they'd be oblivious to the rest of the world. This is dangerous when fire-alarms go off or other emergencies, as the Children don't know how to differentiate between other sounds, so they don't understand it's a warning.
    They come across as being deaf, but they hear. They just don't understand.

    The same Mother saw her oldest Son [I saw this] playing on a semi busy road, and a good distance from the house. He was about 4 - 5 years old, so she stood at the door shouting and screaming his full name and 'get back here right now.' She went on and on. Not once did she go to him.

    Another time, I worked on a building-site, and there was a stone mason [builds walls from stone] and he looked like the kind of person that would eat people as a wee snack. He was HUGE and very tough looking, but then... he was/is that tough. He like a stereotypical hells-angels biker.

    So there we were in the tea room, and his mobile phone rang "Hello. That's not so good. Oh well, just go and get the baseball bat and batter fuck out of them. Okay sweetheart. Speak to you soon. Love you."

    And with a twinkle in his eye, and a smile, he said 'Aww, that's my Daughter. She's only five and some girls nicked her doll off her.' :-o
  3. LifeinthePond

    LifeinthePond Mark ov teh Pond

    Well, to be honest with you it's really hard to respond to this thread. At least for me, because I see a severe difference in bad parenting and flat out child abuse. To my understanding, bad parenting would fall under something like:

    The family is having guests over at the house, and the mother calls the children to table. The children don't acknowledge the guests, play with their food, make disturbing noises and reach for appetizers over someones plate without the family making a note of it and ignoring it. It's a parents duty to make sure a child has table manners. Things like that fall under bad parenting, to me. Not really the topic at hand, I'd say.

    Yelling, beating, any form of abuse is more than just bad parenting. It's immoral and inhumane. To be more on topic and answer your question, I'd say yes. I have witnessed some very odd and yet, terrible acts committed on children. My best friend in Elementary school, his mother use to walk around the house in the nude and leave pornographic material laying about. It may not be the type of bad parenting you have witnessed, but it's immoral just the same.

    I'd offer up some more examples and my own personal point of view, but my long posts have a history of killing threads. :(
  4. Interested

    Interested Registered Member

    The last emoticon is the exact reaction I had when I read that last sentence. I am shocked. I know it is wrong, but it even made me laugh. This is ridiculous.
    I agree abuse is worse and more than simple bad parenting, but it does reflect bad parenting (a good parent cannot be abusive). So abuse is included in this.

    And I have a similar problem. I tend to answer in long long posts. People cannot be bothered to read them, but I do, so feel free. Afterall, I asked a question and it is nice to know some people gave it a thought and some time.
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  5. Mirage

    Mirage Administrator Staff Member V.I.P.

    I think it's terrible when kids scream in the store for some candy bar or something and then the parent or parents buy it for them.

    Another one that I find almost humorous is when kids are screaming in the store and the parents try to have a discussion with them about why they should stop screaming. I bet these kids have never been grounded for anything.
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    It's easy to criticise parents and their decisions from an outsider's point of view. I know this because I've done it too and it's been done to me.

    As for bad parenting situations, I guess we can assume the parents must not love the child but more often, I feel it's only because they have a different thought process on how things will affect their child. For example, spanking them - for some, it translates to "they must not love the child if they inflict physical harm like that" while for others "they're doing it because they know it's in the child's interest so even if they don't like it, they have to" (or something like that).

    Anyway, what I wouldn't want for my children...constant yelling. I hate it. So whenever I see kids being yelled for almost any reason, in public, by their parents I cringe a bit.
  7. Barbara

    Barbara Ess Tii Eph Yu V.I.P. Lifetime

    The worst I have to deal with is at work. I blame it all on those Heely shoes and parents not paying attention to their children. We are constantly stocking throughout the day and require the use of hand trucks often times loaded up with heavy product. The children will just be tearing up and down the aisles with no regards as to how dangerous the situation is. Their parents are no where to be seen and I'm the one that has to tell them to kindly stop as it is dangerous and they or someone else could get hurt. Often times I am met with obnoxious rebellion, the kind I would have been punished for, and smug looks of "I don't have to listen to you." A few times I've had parents complain that I was rude to their children. The management all knows me better though.
  8. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    That's definitely a pet peeve of mine, seeing parents give in to their kids just to get them to shut up. When I worked in a shop I saw it all the time, really bothered me.

    But I do understand that being a parent is incredibly difficult at times and anything to get your kid to stfu is a God send. I just wish people wouldn't get into that habit because it's detrimental to the child's social development.
  9. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I don't like that either. Unfortunately, I can see at least one of my kids doing it because someone is giving in to her demands - never fails, she whines and repeats what she wants until the person is saturated and finally gives in to have peace. The kids become conditioned to this. Funny thing is that with me, she can whine all she wants but she knows I'll just ignore her. So finally, she doesn't do that act with me.

    The problem with this, and I'm hoping my girl doesn't see the loophole, imagine if the kid is at a store and starts whining....attracts public attention. It's harder to just ignore it and hope it'll pass. People are looking at you, and hoping you do something to stop the noise. Because admit it, it's irritating. You can't yell at your kid nor spank (some child police will report you) but somehow you can give the kids what they want and you wouldn't be sent to jail. Just sayin'....
  10. Interested

    Interested Registered Member

    I do not openly criticise. But I do notice bad parenting quite often. I am extremely interested in children. And I do not assume the examples I gave are the examples of where parents don't love children, but I do know such examples too. One mother I know openly hated her daughter because the guy she got pregnant by left her.

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