It has been confirmed. Merc is on a fucking tear. His keyboard has reportedly caught fire at least twice in the past two hours and he is attempting to breath life into the dormant city of General FACE. Last we heard from our mysterious savior, he was drawing more shitty MS Paint comics in between furious masturbatory sessions. These sessions apparently awoke the beast from his slumber (after several massive ejaculations). Several pictures of Impact and Jeanie were lost in the blast according to scattered reports.
The Ancient Long Lost Guardians Who Have Not Been Seen In A Long Fucking Time, also referred to as 'the mods', were not happy with these recent developments. When it was revealed that Merc would be returning, they couldn't contain their jubilation.
Merc has been spotted in several forums. Earlier in the evening, he attempted to write a sequel to one of his literary excretions. It failed twenty minutes into creation and before anyone could stop him for questioning.
It is said that he will most likely circle around the forums, hitting as many spots as he can before returning to his throne atop MD, which is still a huge shithole according to leading researchers at the General Forum Scientific Laboratories. Many users have gathered to witness the legend in all his glory with several bystanders already being arrested for public indecency. Many fingers have been lost to aching vaginas and numerous bottles of lotion sprayed liberally across computer rooms in the past hour alone. When this madness will end, no one truly knows.
What we do know is that this is fucking awesome.
General FACE has been facing a population decrease the likes of which it has never seen. With minimal job growth and the economy dwindling, 'the mods' were asked about the potential impact of this incredible return. They remained silent and insisted that General FUCKINGFACE City would welcome such a prestigious citizen to return.
"Well, he was always a loved member of the community. We were sad to see him go. I think a lot of people will be very pleased to see Hoosier again," said ALLGWHNBSIALFT representative Millz McShmegma.
When he was corrected, his reaction was somewhat different.
We'll keep you posted as the story develops.