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Athletic Onion: Save John Scott


Registered Member

Early reports coming out of Buffalo are indicating that an Environmentalist Group are planning a protest of the Toronto Maple Leafs vs Buffalo Sabres game on November the 15 of 2013 in Buffalo. The group became enraged after watching the sports highlights of their beloved Sabres during the pre-season. What they witnessed on the ice was a cold reminder of the nightmares they have seen in other places of the word where they have fought tirelessly to save many endangered forests. They plan on using the same tactics that have worked for them in other regions of the world including the rain forests. The group plan on chaining themselves to John Scott's legs to try and prevent Phil "The Lumberjack" Kessel from chopping down the endangered species of oak. When questioned today about the protest, one of the the groups members were quick to talk about Phil Kessel citing how they can not believe a Lumberjack of Phil's nature can make up to $8 million a year. "How many tree does a lumberjack have to chop down to make that kind of money in one year?" one of the groups members asked "I figure he would have to clear-cut 1/3 of the rain forest all by himself and probably drive the trucks too!".

The group plans on attending the game after their protest outside and will chant "Stop the Chop" when 32 seconds remain in each period (32 indicates John Scott's jersey number).