Angry E-mail from my auction

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by TGirl, May 23, 2005.

  1. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member

    I just received a e-mail from a not so pleasant person.......I didn't add the e-mail and response to my listing, but my husband thinks I should so that everyone can understand what we are doing....but I was not so pleasant in my response.... so I will paste the e-mail and my response here and maybe you all could give me some feedback on what I should do....and if you feel the same as this person did..please don't hold back...let me know...
    ~Trina~


    Why are you claiming that you are trying to raise money for the adoption of a foster child? The federal government PAYS each state a significant amount of money and each state PAYS ALL adoption espenses from that fund and then continues to provide Medicaid and PAY an adoption subsidy for that child until that former foster child turns 18. I know, I have adopted 5 from foster care. I hate it when people (like yourself) prey upon the sympathies of people in the name of their foster kids!



    my response:

    WOW.......Well hmmmm I am bewildered I guess...I wish you would have asked me questions instead of the downright accusations and the nice label you gave me....Ma'am/Sir if you know so much about foster care and the foster to adopt program then you should know that you must pay all attorney fee's up front and then the state will only reimburse up to $1000.00 (after the adoption is final)....and you are responsible for the rest....in my case the bio's rights have been terminated and we just started the process of fighting a family member of the bio mom's husband (no blood to my child) for custody that just came out of the blue......Do you know what that Intel's??? This is a fight that may go on for years....and at my expense....Although, yes the State Attorney does most the fighting, but I also have to have my attorney for mine and my son's best interest.
    And Yes, your foster (adopted children) do receive Medicaid if ONLY you do not have personal insurance...which we do...and not in all cases do you get subsidy until the child is 18..this is a untrue statement...the State has cut cost everywhere the last few years...BUGET CRUNCH...and you must prove your child is mentally or physically disabled before getting anything from the state after a adoption is final, although you can fabricate to get this funding....my child does not qualify for this that I know of as he is a healthy boy.....
    I am in the leadership foster care program and also a Bio parent Mentor...Please do not try to tell me the laws and the rules and how much you receive from the state...to me that can be fabrication in itself...Not every adoption works that way...did you adopt siblings??? and how long ago was this??? and mainly were these children Bio Parents rights terminated without appeals? Also, I am amazed your are receiving money for all 5 of your adopted children. That must be nice to get child support for your kids.
    And as for preying on people...bite your tongue...I am merely telling my story and what they bid on is in fact what they get and so far everyone that have won one of my mystery auctions has been very happy.....I have not deceived anyone and to be frank...people like you amaze me and it is people like you that make it harder for the foster program if you are still receiving money from the state to raise YOUR 5 CHILDREN!!! That could also be considered preying.....
    GRRRRRRR I hate having to defend myself especially to someone that should know how hard this is......you must of had it so easy in your adoptions....nothing must of never went wrong for you...well Ma'am/Sir this is not easy and being a foster mom in general is not easy....I resent the fact that YOU (of all people) try to make it sound so pretty.....or to make me sound like I am preying.......Maybe you never had a story to tell, but I do and I am proud to be this little boys mom and I will sell everything I have to do it.....I LOVE HIM, and when this is all over if it ever is...He will be my son to raise, just as if I had him myself...and he will not be the states responsibility.
    I am sad I am lashing out...I would never have expected another foster parent to be so cruel to me for what I am doing. Maybe someone that didn't understand the facts, but not another foster parent.
    I have to wipe my feet at the door of this e-mail as if I hold on to what you said in anger I will only be hurting myself...as you were just trying to be hurtful.
    I wish I could thank you for your concerns, but I just can't.
     

  2. 1_ares_1

    1_ares_1 Registered Member

    hmmm. Took on five kids? I wonder if the money makes it worth it to them? This does not sound like a happy person. Too bad for the children who are doomed to live in that household! Too may fosters do it to keep a roof over their own heads. I knew a family growing up who always had at least 5 foster children and were very abusive to them. Your son is an extremely lucky little guy... I wish you the very best of luck with all your auctions... :D
    To be truthful, I don't think you should have responded to this person at all. He may start giving you problems now.
     
  3. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    Well Trina, I think you said it all! I'm sure this idiot is sitting in their lonely corner of the world and licking the wounds recently inflicted by your words....nice job! Why can't mean people just keep their idiotic comments to themselves? You are doing a great thing that not many people would be capable of *hat's off to you*!
    If you had that bed throw you could be cuddling up to it right now!!!! And all would be, well...a little better anyways!
     
  4. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member


    Yes, it is reality that some foster homes are not good homes, just because they pass a background check.....Also, I was thinking I should not have responded either....I hope Things don't get all messy...that is scary!! Sometimes I do not think before I act.......ugggggg

    I was trying not to be mean, but I was so worked up over this persons comments....
    And Yes I need my BED THROW...lol and a binkie right now...lol that didn't sound good at all did it??? hahahaha


    Thank you both for you nice words...I have been so upset, Funny how a stupid e-mail from someone I don't know does this to me....I should not care...but I do and it makes me sad...

    Thank you again
    ~Trina~
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2005
  5. 1_ares_1

    1_ares_1 Registered Member

    well when I get down I PM Doubles or Djebay...they bring my spirits up... (thanks guys)...give it a try!
     
  6. doubles2004

    doubles2004 Registered Member

    Trina
    Ignore them .we know what your saying just because they dont understand they want the lash out at you .dont let them get under your skin.just hit the delete key .If they continue and its through ebay report them.It takes a strong person to do what you are doing and im proud of everyone that does the fostering of kids .Its not the kids fault he/she is in this world but its ours to see that they are taken care of.Just my 2 cents
     
  7. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member

    I will ignore them...thank you....I have a "bounce back" button on my e-mail....I will just use it for now on....I was just blown away that this person could say the things she/he did!

    i will try to be better and do better....

    thank you guys...
    ~Trina~
     
  8. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    So while the rest of us hang out here answering threads, the 3 of you are having a "menage a trois" of words in private??? That just doesn't seem fair! *stomping my foot like my 8 year old*!!! I wanna PM buddy! Just kidding, it's the end of the workday and I'm getting slap happy here!
     
  9. momtobrenna

    momtobrenna Registered Member

    Hey!
    I'm an adoptive mom and I went halfway around the world to get my daughter because I don't have it in me to go through what you're going through. I'm glad some people have that fight in them. Screw everybody else that thinks they know everything and their rude comments. I don't know any adoptive parent in TX that gets state $$ after their adoption is final unless they adopted a special needs child.
    Anyway, Good Luck!!
    Allison
     

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