Anger Management

[Smelnick]

Have any of you guys ever been in anger management before?

I've been in anger management three times. Twice during elementary because I was constantly losing my temper when the other kids were tormenting me, and I'd lash out. Being a strong farm kid, I usually did damage, and so I was in anger management twice.

Then I went in anger management again in highschool. This time it wasn't so much because of any incidence. It was more to do with my step dad trying to use my temper as a reason for my two little brothers not to stay in the same house. So I took anger management as a show that I was dealing with it. In that last session, I'd realized that my anger problems had shifted from expressing it in the wrong way and explosively, to not expressing it enough, and holding it in too much.

The counsellour that ran the class was very good. He helped us to identify when were getting angry and what was getting us angry. He taught us some great methods for expressing our anger in a positive way.

I think the most important thing he taught the class though was not to feel bad about getting angry. Anger isn't bad, it's what you do when you're angry that can be bad.

For myself, I tend to lose my temper when either I'm frustrated about someone not taking my point of view into consideration, or if I'm feeling guilty about something I know I did wrong and am being called out on it. Basically, anytime my self esteem is threatened, and I start feeling inadequate.

So what is your opinions on anger management? What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger. What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

 

[viLky]

So what is your opinions on anger management?

Indifferent. If some people can get a use out of it, then by all means, go ahead.
What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?

For me, it's one of the following: punch a punching bag/exercise (to wear myself out), video games (to take my mind off the problem for a few) or a shower. A warm shower actually does help me. It cools me down.

What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

Whenever somebody/something makes me upset I just "Hmm... K." and be on my way. In a nutshell, I bottle up my anger, take it home and release it on one of the three options above. It works for me because instead of hitting somebody at that instant, I do it in the privacy of my own home. Postponing your anger until the right time. A good method to prevent doing something you regret. =D

 

[adamup]

So what is your opinions on anger management?

I believe that anger management is an effective beggining for one who lacks control.

What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?

The method i use to manage anger is not avoiding or ignoring it, but by simply accepting that anger is inevitable, and by maintaining a open mind i am then able to manage a frustrating situation efficiently with compassion and honesty.

What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

The thing that makes me most angry is how selfish people (including myself) can be. The steps I take are to approach each frustrating situaton open mindedly and with the utmost care.

 

[Doc]

I've been to counseling where one of the aspects they focused on was my anger. I'd say that, generally, having someone to talk to helped me to channel my rage into new and more productive places.

So what is your opinions on anger management?

What little experience I had with it seemed to help me greatly. I'd say it was a positive experience that worked well.

What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?

I walk away and find someone to vent to and not on. There are very few actions that will force me to be physical and nearly all of them are in defense of myself or another person.

What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

Someone messing with my child, consistent and blatant mockery, and people touching my face that aren't very, very close to me.

I deal with the first by venting as much as possible and, luckily, the culprit(s) haven't been around when I've felt my daughter has been wronged. I wouldn't have hesitated to fight and don't care to control it. I can control myself with the mockery by simply walking away and reminding myself that I am, in fact, the better person for moving on. I've beat the living hell out of even my closest friends for play slapping me. I don't like it and I don't care to control it.

 

[PhoenixOverdrive]

I have a different way about things than most anyone. I can thank the practicality of NLP for that.

So what is your opinions on anger management?

I've never been in it, but I've heard all the stories, studied it in Psych, and seen parts of taped sessions, etc. It's interesting, but it's full of strange concepts and doesn't deal with the issue at hand, which is the raw surge of emotion you feel at that very moment.

What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?

I don't. Actually, I'm not interested in managing it and taking a solid object called 'emotion' and put in in container 'positive sublimation'. I want it dealt with at the exact time it comes up. Later I figured I might as well eradicate it altogether. What's worth getting angry about is definitely also worth laughing at. I took a relaxed, positive and critical state and stuck it right where the anger begins. It doesn't happen now. Unless I want to, of course, I always have that option. I always go for relaxed and let's-see-through-this.

What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

Anything that attacked my core values when the people attacking knew they were important to me. Break my stuff, insult me, yell at me, soil my reputation, it's all good. Tell me I don't put effort into my own evolution or that I've lied about something I didn't lie about, then we've got trouble.

I used to just shut up, and walk away... For hours. Took a nice, long walk, in or near a forest if there was one around. Walk, walk, walk, breathe, relax, look around. By the time I was back, the issue was not only emotionally neutered, but chronologically stale.

But like I said, I just got rid of it, and I now have a lot more time to enjoy my day and do something constructive with what used to turn into a pissing match.

 

[BigBob]

So what is your opinions on anger management?
My opinion from being in it multiple times is that it absolutely does not work. When I was in it for the first time in 6th grade, I felt like it made my anger worse being in it.

What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?
Yelling profanities, throwing things.. things that shouldn't be done.


What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

Video games.. Sports.. those are the two big ones. The steps I take to get my cool back are the same as my best way of dealing with anger. Yell and throw things.

 

[Vixen]

I've been in anger management once.

See it wasn't till last year I had underlying mental health problems, but beforehand mostly in school i got bullied heavily so I would always stand my ground because all the way primary 5 i was a 'shitbag' (Coward for people who don't understand).
Untill one event got me expelled and moved to another school (I'm really glad this happend actually) and i thought new fresh start, no longer am i going to get pushed around.

Balancing that and a rough upbringing, obviously went the wrong way and caused problems, which in turn caused behaviourill problems, I just thought, you fuck with me, i fuck with you but worse. My mum always did say to me if anyone (hits/argues/says anything) you give as good as you get in ANY situation.

But when i got into secondary i had calmed down for 2 years, then it all came back and in 4th year i got expelled again (which i strictly believe i done for good reasons) so yet another move actually done me good.

Then all that from my past came out in councilling and eventually leaded to psychologist who then diagnosed me and gave me anger management.

I'm glad everything i done, whether i was right or wrong, actually happend, if it didn't happen i wouldn't be the person I am today and i certainly wouldn't have realised my underlying problems, so sometimes anger management can come in handy.

Everyone has anger issues, just some people are able to controll it better than others.

 

[Vixen]

So what is your opinions on anger management?

I think everyone has it in them somewhere. Some people just can manage it more than others, anger is such a diverse emotion, it works many ways, i think that's why most people struggle with it than others. I think it all comes down to how much one person can actually take.
.
What do you find to be your best method of dealing with anger?

My personal way is sleep. However if i'm a cetain point i usually dance, sing or go for a walk or excersise, something that takes my mind off and gets me active.


What is the thing that usually makes you angry enough to lose your control, and what steps do you take get your cool back?

If somone wastes my time, that makes me kinda angry.
If somone knows how to push my buttons in an argument, I will flip.
However i tend to keep things in and let it build up with somone because I like to give people chances. Because I know i'm not perfect myself, but sometimes... it just get's too much with them.

People who lie too.

 

[ExpectantlyIronic]

Oh man, back in elementary school I had to see the councilor all the time for flipping out. Since then, I've been pretty ridiculously chill, with momentary lapses here and there. In theory, I'd like to deal w/ anger by just chilling out, but in practice it seems I end up breaking stuff or aggressively confronting people. It's something I need to work on.