Am I making him choose?

monstertoad101

Registered Member
#1
Well, basically, my boyfriend thinks that I am trying to make him choose between him and his friends. I don't know what to do :(

As far as I can see it, I'm not making him choose. The particular problem that he has is with my ex boyfriend. Me and my ex don't get along, what so ever, yet, my boyfriend and my ex, are pretty good friends, so, when them two are together, I tend to wander off, so that it doesn't get awkward.

I did this last week, while we were all out in the same club, and my boyfriend decided that this was me making him choose, and making him feel sorry for me, so broke up with me.

I managed to get him to go back out with me 2 days later, and we're doing okay, but, I don't know what to do :( I love him to pieces, but, he's always going to see it as me trying to make him choose.

Advice please
 

fractal

Eye see what you did ther
#2
Have you told him that you don't feel comfortable when the three of you are together because of the awkwardness of the past relationship? And that you're ok with him being friends with your ex?
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#4
Well, basically, my boyfriend thinks that I am trying to make him choose between him and his friends. I don't know what to do :(

As far as I can see it, I'm not making him choose. The particular problem that he has is with my ex boyfriend. Me and my ex don't get along, what so ever, yet, my boyfriend and my ex, are pretty good friends, so, when them two are together, I tend to wander off, so that it doesn't get awkward.

I did this last week, while we were all out in the same club, and my boyfriend decided that this was me making him choose, and making him feel sorry for me, so broke up with me.

I managed to get him to go back out with me 2 days later, and we're doing okay, but, I don't know what to do :( I love him to pieces, but, he's always going to see it as me trying to make him choose.

Advice please

I don't understand... How are you making him choose if you choose to wander off when he (your ex) is around? If anything, you're making it easier on them so they can hang out, too.
 

monstertoad101

Registered Member
#5
yeah, he knows exactly how I feel about the situation, and, he knows that I don't mind him being friends with him, and he replied with, "you throw a hissy fit when I say I'm with him,"

And no, he met me about 7/8 months ago, and he met my ex, about 2 months ago.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#6
so they didn't know each other until you had been dating 5 or 6 months? how did they meet?

from what you say, it sounds like he's the controlling type.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
#7
Well the easiest solution is to not be around your boyfriend when he is hanging around with your ex. Why don't you hang around with your friends when he hangs around with him? You shouldn't have to feel really uncomfortable all the time so you should be free to do something else while they hang together.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
#9
You sort of are making him choose. He can't hang out with you both simultaneously, and thus must choose to hang out with one or the other. But unlike some people, you are letting him hang out with either of you individually.

Did you know that your ex was going to be at the same club? If so, you probably should have mentioned something ahead of time. If your BF was thinking you'd all be hanging out together, then suddenly you disappear, that could be uncomfortable for him.
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#10
Sorry, but I don't see this as how you are making him choose anything. You choose not to be around your ex, and I see this as very understandable.

I would question the fact of him become friends with your ex. That is really weird.

Also, if that is the reason for the break up, I think it was just an excuse, really.