Am I making him choose?

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by monstertoad101, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. monstertoad101

    monstertoad101 Registered Member

    Well, basically, my boyfriend thinks that I am trying to make him choose between him and his friends. I don't know what to do :(

    As far as I can see it, I'm not making him choose. The particular problem that he has is with my ex boyfriend. Me and my ex don't get along, what so ever, yet, my boyfriend and my ex, are pretty good friends, so, when them two are together, I tend to wander off, so that it doesn't get awkward.

    I did this last week, while we were all out in the same club, and my boyfriend decided that this was me making him choose, and making him feel sorry for me, so broke up with me.

    I managed to get him to go back out with me 2 days later, and we're doing okay, but, I don't know what to do :( I love him to pieces, but, he's always going to see it as me trying to make him choose.

    Advice please

  2. fractal

    fractal Eye see what you did ther

    Have you told him that you don't feel comfortable when the three of you are together because of the awkwardness of the past relationship? And that you're ok with him being friends with your ex?
  3. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    were they friends before you started dating your current boyfriend?
  4. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    I don't understand... How are you making him choose if you choose to wander off when he (your ex) is around? If anything, you're making it easier on them so they can hang out, too.
  5. monstertoad101

    monstertoad101 Registered Member

    yeah, he knows exactly how I feel about the situation, and, he knows that I don't mind him being friends with him, and he replied with, "you throw a hissy fit when I say I'm with him,"

    And no, he met me about 7/8 months ago, and he met my ex, about 2 months ago.
  6. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    so they didn't know each other until you had been dating 5 or 6 months? how did they meet?

    from what you say, it sounds like he's the controlling type.
  7. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Well the easiest solution is to not be around your boyfriend when he is hanging around with your ex. Why don't you hang around with your friends when he hangs around with him? You shouldn't have to feel really uncomfortable all the time so you should be free to do something else while they hang together.
  8. PretzelCorps

    PretzelCorps Registered Member

    So he's having a fit over someone he's known for only two months? That's kinda stupid.
    Bliss likes this.
  9. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    You sort of are making him choose. He can't hang out with you both simultaneously, and thus must choose to hang out with one or the other. But unlike some people, you are letting him hang out with either of you individually.

    Did you know that your ex was going to be at the same club? If so, you probably should have mentioned something ahead of time. If your BF was thinking you'd all be hanging out together, then suddenly you disappear, that could be uncomfortable for him.
  10. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    Sorry, but I don't see this as how you are making him choose anything. You choose not to be around your ex, and I see this as very understandable.

    I would question the fact of him become friends with your ex. That is really weird.

    Also, if that is the reason for the break up, I think it was just an excuse, really.

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