Am I a really good friend or do I like her?

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by Nosferatu_Alucard, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    Ok, so there's this girl, my age, my grade, my school, good looking. We've been friends for a year or two; we talk a lot, etc. She's always having something bad going on, and we talk about this stuff all the time and I help her out and give her advice. Recently I just found whole lot more out and she really opened up to me. I've gotten her to tell me more stuff she tells her therapist because she doesn't want to remember and admit the mistakes she's made. She told me she used to cut herself and it really hurt me actually. I've told her that I will always be there, she can trust me (she has trust problems and I think she trusts me), she can call me whenever she wants to 24/7 if she ever feels bad, feels like cutting again, or just wants to talk about the weather. I say these things because I care about her. I want her to be happy. When she's sad, I'm sad, when she's hurting, I hurt. I try to do whatever I can in my power to make her feel better. It's hard to explain you know?

    Am I just being a good friend, or do I really like this girl? I thought stuff like this happens after you get into a relationship with someone.

    Thanks for you thoughts, this has just been driving me nuts and I'm losing sleep over it.

  2. Shwa

    Shwa Gay As Fuck V.I.P. Lifetime

    By what you've said, it seems like you really like this girl. Being there shows that you care, handing over your trust for her to be safe in is something not a lot of people would do so willingly, and since you share so much emotional feelings towards her its a bit obvious. But just remember, you said she's had difficult problems with trusting and cutting, liking her like that may be able to comfort her but try to keep yourself at a distance for a bit while she gets use to it. Those are my 2 cent on it, hope she's alright and gets well.

  3. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    I think she's alright for the most part now, she doesn't cut anymore to my knowledge. After all we've talked about, do you think it would be a total curveball to ask her out or say that I liked her? Like I said, she might think I'm just being a good friend when I do all this stuff for her.
  4. Corona

    Corona Registered Member

    If you like her as more than a friend then ask her out.

    "The things you'll regret most in life are the chances you didn't take."

    Wise words.
  5. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    Um it seems to happen before you get into a serious relationship. Casual one though no. Not really.
  6. wyldesykosis

    wyldesykosis Feral

    I would say there is a good chance that you like her more than a friend. Altho there have been a lot of girls that I've cared about as if they were my sisters. You apparently love this girl, but is it romantic or platonic?
  7. MasterChad

    MasterChad Registered Member

    Do you see yourself dating her?

    If you do then ask her out or you'll always wonder what could have been....

    (2 days after this girl moved my BEST friend told me she has a major crush on me...)
    and i regret not asking her out cause i liked her too....

    Gotta take chances
  8. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    Ok so I finally talked to her. I said:

    CallMeBaba112191 (11:44:02 PM):i want to talk to you about something

    annee xo (11:44:07 PM):about what

    CallMeBaba112191 (11:44:26 PM):don't worry, it's nothing serious. i don't have herpies so you're safe annee xo (11:44:33 PM):oh god. lol

    annee xo (11:45:40 PM):..

    CallMeBaba112191 (11:45:47 PM):we're pretty good friends, talk often. Sometimes when we talk, you got a problem and I try to help you out as best I can. You’ve got a lot of trust for me and are willing always to come to me and I appreciate it
    annee xo (11:46:15 PM):no prob? haha
    CallMeBaba112191 (11:47:05 PM):At first I thought I was just being a good friend, but after I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I feel more for you. When we would talk and you would say you were sad, I would be upset too. I feel that I can really connect with you. i would really like to have a girl like you instead of a good friend
    CallMeBaba112191 (11:47:56 PM):that’s just how I’ve been feeling lately i don’t know about you but i just wanted to tell you instead of keep all this in and im sorry if this bothers you but i thought it would be best for you to know that i care about you and what happens to you
    annee xo (11:48:11 PM):well thank you for telling me lol
    annee xo (11:48:19 PM):i do have to ask about katie though?
    CallMeBaba112191 (11:50:42 PM):i thought about it really long, and it was just a thing, and i didn't really like her. i didn't like the way i thought i did.
    CallMeBaba112191 (11:54:22 PM):i hate to be coming from left field, and sounding crazy. it may not be something you've thought about, but it's something i've thought about. and i was really bothering me to say something, but i feel better now that i have
    annee xo (11:54:38 PM):yeahh
    annee xo (11:54:49 PM):hmm. well right now i just feel like we're good friends. is that alright with you?
    CallMeBaba112191 (11:58:36 PM):yeah, that's alright. i like us being friends, but i wondering how you felt about it Saturday, August 25, 2007
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:09:24 AM):are you ok? i didn't freak you out did i?
    annee xo (12:10:12 AM):no sorry hahaa you didnt
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:10:54 AM):do you not want to talk about this?
    annee xo (12:11:12 AM):no its fine sorry hahah
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:15:49 AM):sorry i'm throwing all these questions at you. i was kinda nervous and still am a little
    annee xo (12:16:01 AM):no its finee
    annee xo (12:16:12 AM):and dont be nervous around me lol i hate it when people are like that
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:17:50 AM):i'm not nervous because afraid of you. i only am because i've very used to giving my opinion about others, helping others, sharing what i know, but never saying what i actually field. me throwing a piece of me out there is what's making me nervous
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:18:05 AM):feel*
    annee xo (12:18:27 AM):haha just like my first day of therapyy.
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:18:54 AM):haha. how so?
    annee xo (12:19:21 AM):well before i went to therapy i never ever told anyone anything
    annee xo (12:19:39 AM):so telling someone i'd never met before my entire life and having her get things out of me that i had forgotten happened was a little wierd.
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:19:47 AM):yeah
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:21:30 AM):it is actually really wierd
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:22:25 AM):only because i always think ahead, of what you were going to say. i only reason i didn't sooner is because i had the worst fear that you would be totally freaked out and just shut me down
    annee xo (12:22:34 AM):hahahah
    annee xo (12:22:38 AM):that would be NASTY.
    annee xo (12:23:05 AM):god i know i can be a bitch but whhoa i wouldnt do that
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:23:10 AM):haha yeah
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:24:43 AM):thank god
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:30:42 AM):sorry i'm coming out with all of this at once. we can talk about it other time if you want to
    annee xo (12:30:53 AM):why are you sorry lol
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:31:49 AM):because i was afraid i was pressuring you and making you feel uncomfortable
    annee xo (12:32:00 AM):ohh lol
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:32:14 AM):yeah haha
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:33:54 AM):do you think we could be anything more than just friends
    annee xo (12:34:31 AM):maybe someday but not right now
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:37:41 AM):haha ok i hope so because you're such a great girl
    annee xo (12:38:39 AM):haha well im flattereddd. thank you
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:38:58 AM):you know that's what i do
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:39:00 AM):flatter, haha
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:42:11 AM):would you have rather said i had herpies?
    annee xo (12:42:26 AM):haha well it wouldnt affect me whatsoever so i wouldnt care
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:43:24 AM):is any of what i'm saying affecting you?
    annee xo (12:43:47 AM):what do you mean
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:44:27 AM):i mean like, haha idk
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:46:33 AM):i always got something to say, but now, i have no clue
    annee xo (12:46:40 AM):hahaha its all good
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:46:47 AM):haha yeah
    CallMeBaba112191 (12:46:59 AM):well thanks for listening. i'll talk to you latter, anne
    annee xo (12:47:06 AM):haha alrightt
  9. wyldesykosis

    wyldesykosis Feral

    Talking on the phone or via IM is completely impersonal and unconfident. A conversation like this should be done in person. Looking her in her eyes when you tell her how you feel allows a connection that you can't have when staring at text on a computer screen. Also it shows you can take the intensity of the emotion head on and that you have confidence in yourself.

    I won't critique the conversation unless you really want me to.
  10. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    The only reason I did it online is because that's where we talk the most and where we're most comfortable. If I had done it in person or on the phone, I would have felt like I was putting too much pressure on her and was rushing her.

    You can do whatever you want. This is an advice section. If I don't like what I read, I'll ignore it.

    This just in: It's been a day since I talked to her, I was a little bummed, but I'm ok now. I've been trying to talk to her all day, and she hasn't said a word back to me.

    You think it means anything?

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