Age difference?

[jdndfw]

My other half is 12 years younger than me. He asked me recently if the age difference was a problem for me to which i promptly replied, "a problem? hell I think it's a bonus!" I have been told by several people that I am too old for him. I've endured the comments that he is too young to be mature enough to sustain a relationship (these people obviously haven't met him). I guess what Im saying is that I am getting tired of hearing it. I mean is it REALLY that important. We love each other. we are good together. Isn't that enough?

interested in your points of view.

jdndfw

 

[Rebeccaaa]

It would help to know roughly what age bracket you're in, since I find any gaps become a lot less apparent the older a couple gets.

 

[Merc]

If you're both of legal age, what's the issue? Age is just a societal bump that is slowly going away. People who say you're too old or too young are just morons afraid of change.

 

[Jeanie]

12 years is about the outside age difference that I think is workable. If it's any more than that, typically what happens is the older person has a hard time not "parenting" (for lack of a better word) the younger person. In 10 years a person usually gains a great deal of life experience, and it's hard not to try to guide someone you love based on those life experiences, but that's not how a partner should act. You also have a completely different outlook on life at age 42 than you did at 30. You're in a different developmental stage.

That's not to say that it can't work if there's a huge age difference, but it can be pretty difficult. If you think you can make it work, more power to you.

I wish you well. <3

 

[Millz]

What Rebecca said...

If you're 35 and your partner is 23 that's perfectly fine. If you're 25 and they are 13 then that's completely different. I've dated girls younger then me, that's my preference. Age is just a number.

 

[Daemonic]

I was once always on to say age doesn't mater but now I think it depends more on the people involved. After I messed around with someone 22 years older than me at 25 I changed my mind. That was a very awkward and confusing experience for me. So I guess it depends on if both people are comfortable with it.

 

[Jeanie]

What Rebecca said...

If you're 35 and your partner is 23 that's perfectly fine. If you're 25 and they are 13 then that's completely different. I've dated girls younger then me, that's my preference. Age is just a number.

Workable and acceptable are two different things, though. Age is not just a number. Typically a person at 35 has an established career, and most likely has children. These days, the average person in their early 20s does not have any children yet, and are still working on establishing their career. That's usually where the difficulties in relationships with significant age differences come from - having vastly different life experiences upon which to base judgments and decisions.

 

[Shwa]

I agree with those who state it's a number, but I also advise that you both have like, A LOT in common. Or enough to have some type of compatability that both of you find one another interesting, loving, caring, compassionate, and basically have a major click to one another.

My main thing is, make sure you like someone before you say you "love" them. You gotta like someone before it goes to that next level, find it, and make sure it's something you can't live without or want to give up without a fight. Age really isn't an issue for me since my last relationship I dated a man who turned 40, only lasted a year but hey, the milk goes sour sometime. Like Jeanie stated, different life experiences.

~Shwa

 

[Daemonic]

Eh, maybe my problem with the girl around twice my age is it was strictly sexual and spontaneous, plus lacked any emotion. If you realy like one another and it isn't awkward then go for it.....

 

[jdndfw]

It would help to know roughly what age bracket you're in, since I find any gaps become a lot less apparent the older a couple gets.

I'm 34 and He's 22. the gap is pretty prominant. I mean I am already pretty gray headed. I do look young for my age but you can tell im not his age by far.