After I give birth

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by Boredie, Jul 6, 2008.

  1. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    I know there's still time till that happens. 13 weeks.
    But I guess this is bugging me enough to want to hear what you have to say.
    My daughter will be starting a new daycare in Sept. A major change for a 19 month old.
    My due date is the end of Sept. Once I give birth - yet another major change for my daughter.

    My husband wants us to go to my parents for two weeks after I give birth so I will have all the help/rest that I need. That will include keeping my daughter away from daycare for those 2 weeks - another major change.

    For that reason I want to be at home to allow her to continue with her daily routine as much as possible to allow for as little change as possible, knowing I will get some help from my mum for the first week at least.

    My parents live just under an hour away from us which makes it hard on everyone to help keep my daughter's daily routine whether we go to my parents or remain at home. (If we remain at home it will mean my mum will have to come every afternoon to pick her up.)

    What are your thoughts? Any suggestions?
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2008

  2. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Why can't his parents go to your place instead when your mum isn't there anymore? I agree with trying to have as little change as possible for your daughter.
     
  3. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    My brother-in-law's wife is due to give birth roughly at around the same time and she doesn't have parents who she can turn to. She also has a child my daughter's age and my guess is that she'll be getting most of the help my in-laws can provide.
     
  4. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5




    Your mom is ok with that?
     
  5. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    It was her idea in the first place.
    I don't know how she will manage though.
     
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Another option is for your daughter to start daycare after a few weeks you've spent with your in laws (to help you out). That way you're not breaking any routine with her should you choose to go ask help from your in laws.

    Two things. While you pay attention to your daughter's adjustment, you should also pay attention to your healing and rest so do what you can to have that. You can't take care of others if you're weak.

    Will she be 19 in sept? My daughter was 18 when (the real) ysabel was born. She didn't really have a big adjustment problem compared with my son who was 3yo when the next baby was born (taking his place as the baby's family). But I also made sure my daughter continues with her routine. My in laws wanted to take her for a few weeks with them to give me more space and rest and I didn't allow it. Things have a way of working out, just believe... :)
     
  7. Blueyes

    Blueyes Registered Member

    Her other child is a 19 MONTH old, think somehow that got confused.

    Somehow I think y'all got the shaft because you are the ones an hour away but I'm with idea of the least disruptions as possible too so the option of starting daycare later makes sense especially when if you really honestly think about it, if your sister-in-law delivers before you do or has complications, god forbid, right before she delivers there is no way that the MIL will be traveling an hour to come to you to help out I'm thinking.
     
  8. amjhdrummer

    amjhdrummer It fell off.

    I don't know (because well, I don't have kids) But I wanted to chime in and say good luck w/ your birth and such when it comes around, and congrats :)
     
  9. kiwi

    kiwi The Original Kiwi

    How did your last birth go? Were things fairly simple/routine? Did you heal quickly? Were you up and around again with minimal problems within a coupel days?

    I realize that every birth can be different, but with my latter two pregnancies, I seemed to bounce back much quicker then after my first (although my first had a whole slew of additional issues.) If your daughter is going to be at daycare throughout the day anyway, you will still be able to rest and take things easy during the day with just you and the babe at home, then you will have the help of your husband during the majority of the time you have both kids.

    Also, how is your daughter's temperment? Does she act out or not sleep as well when her routine is messed up? I think if you want to maintain her routine to try and make the adjustments as easy as possible for her (I'm also of the mindset not to send away the older child right after you have the younger one, mainly, cause I was afraid it would really give them the feeling of being replaced as opposed to staying and being involved in all the new baby things and being closer as a family).

    One major thing that really seemed to help me out is very easy dinners. So if you either have people that can help bring dinner to your family for a few days, or make up things you can freeze ahead of time then just throw in the oven when you need them, is what I would suggest focusing on. I know that with adjusting to a new baby and schedule, it can be very stressful to be taking care of the babe, then realize it's 15 min till dinner time and you haven't even thought about anything and aren't ready to even really start preparing it.
     
  10. Aella

    Aella Registered Member

    I have to echo some of what Kiwi said, can't your husband help more?
    Unless there are complications with the birth/pregnancy i don't see how you can't cope at home, with your daughter at daycare you will get some rest anyway. I can see how getting your daughter to and from daycare with a new baby can be hardwork but once your ina routine it will be second nature. If your mums offering to come to you when needed i think this personally is best, it's good that you have a good supporting network.
    Best of luck with it all :)
     

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