Advice please?

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by SenatorB, Sep 28, 2007.

  1. SenatorB

    SenatorB J.S.P.S

    I'm probably making this far more complicated than I need to...

    I'm currently single, and have been for considerably longer than I'd like. Single is a problem, but for lack of suitable girlfriends, a partial solution would even just be some casual hooking up. Satisfaction on a physical basis while lacking an actual relationship is still better than nothing at all.

    Well, this girl I know, apparently wants to engage in some casual makeouts (possibly leading to sex) with me. [backstory: we hooked up once while exceptionally drunk, and have since become friends although we dont see eachother superbly often]

    This would be great, except for the fact that I'm not very attracted to her... she's not very good looking, although I wouldn't say she's ugly by any means, she's just not particularly hot. My mind likes to try to convince me that I can do better than that (compiled with the fact that my previous girlfriends have been extremely hot), but the fact that I've had such a long absence from intimate female contact would seem to prove otherwise, and honestly I dont have any other viable prospects on the horizon.

    Not to mention, she has a boyfriend, although I dont know him and I wouldn't be the one cheating, so I'm wrestling with myself on whether or not this conflicts with my sense of morals.

    While I've been mulling all this over in my head, I've kind of been avoiding her to delay the situation... which seems to lead her to thinking I'm playing hard to get or something, so she's been pursuing me even more aggressively, to the point where I can't continue to avoid her for long.

    So the question is: Do I hook up with her and sate my desire for female contact despite the fact I dont find her that attractive, or do I continue this dry spell and try to remain just friends with her?

    Or in other words: Do I choose to indulge in diluted/lukewarm satisfaction now, or do I postpone any satisfaction to some indefinite future in the hopes that at that point it will be considerably better and therefore worth the wait?

    Or maybe the real question is: Are makeouts/more even worth it with someone you dont find attractive?
     

  2. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    I wouldn't do it. The idea of a fuck buddy can be enticing, but you never know how the other person will react emotionally. She may fall for you and you won't have feelings for her and it could get ugly.

    Also if you're dealing with someone in a relationship, that's never a good idea either.

    Lastly, you might get so caught up in this that you miss the opportunity when the right girl comes along.

    Looking at the way you worded your question in your last paragraph, i think you already know what you should do. "diluted/lukewarm satisfaction" doesn't really sound all that great.
     
  3. SuiGeneris

    SuiGeneris blue 3

    This probably isn't going to be popular advice, some may think it's sleezy, but you only enjoy life once. Honestly, if you think it would be enjoyable, then go for it. I don't like the idea of her cheatin' on her boyfriend with you. I think thats a little shady and that should be your only real hang up. Who cares if she isn't a 10, as long as she isn't a 0! Does that make sense?

    Live your life, enjoy it, we only get one chance.
     
  4. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    I guess I'm not so much against the idea of a casual hook-up, although it does have some risk involved, it just sounds like you're not really into this one so much.

    lord knows i've had my share of casual hook-ups.
     
  5. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    I agree with Sui to an extent. Casual hook-ups is what ideal for me atm. BUT if you dont find the girl attractive whats the point?

    I dont know, I dont like to drop or lower my standards just to makeout with some random chick who is subpar...Just doesnt seem worth it when the real girls come along...
     
  6. SenatorB

    SenatorB J.S.P.S

    As it turns out, people may become infinitely more attractive without clothes!

    Totally worth it.
     
  7. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

  8. Henskie

    Henskie The Super Pimp of GF


    So I am assuming that you went for it??
     
  9. SenatorB

    SenatorB J.S.P.S

    Yeah, I had my trepidations, but after much consideration I decided I was probably severely over thinking the situation and decided to go with instinct.
     
  10. oxyMORON

    oxyMORON A Darker Knight

    The best instinct EVER.;) Luckily the girl was hot when naked. Usually (well, sometimes) it's the opposite.
     

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