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A drinking story that has nothing to do with the alcohol


Registered Member
So, for my buddy/sister's boyfriend's 21st birthday, we made a trip to the local tavern. It was a fun night, with a few of our closer friends, wherein by the end of it, I'd polished off seven pints.

Now, for me, that's a pretty okay amount of beer to consume, but I wasn't exactly stumbling around either.

Once we were finished at the pub, me and another buddy (Smelnick on these boards) headed over to my grandmother's place to sleep, as it was within walking distance. Now, it's important to recognize that I remember absolutely everything that occurred right up to when I went to bed; I put on some PJs, brushed my teeth, drank an entire pitcher of water, and then crawled into bed.

Now, I've blacked out a couple times in my life; it's not fun, and I've come to know, more or less, what my limit is insofar as drinking is concerned --> I did not cross the line that night.

Now here's the interesting part: I was on the couch, and my buddy was on the floor nearby. I guess he got up to go the bathroom; I woke up slightly, and noticed that I felt a little funny...

I'll be damned!! I was stark friggin' naked!!

Thank God I was entirely covered, or else Smelnick would've received an eyeful. I wrapped myself up in the blankets and got myself some PJs.

I found my old PJs soaking wet in the bathroom, and a towel next to the couch I was sleeping on.

So of course, because my PJs are soaked, my first thought (and yours too, probably) is "oh fuck... the pitcher of water..."

Mercifully, that wasn't what had happened.

Well, my grandma came home later that day, and we managed to piece together what had actually happened:

Turns out, at some point between 5 and 6 in the morning, I stood up, and proceeded to go for a little sleepwalk. By instinct, the first thing I do EVERY morning is take a shower; I suppose I'd thought it was time to wakeup, because the first thing I did was hop right into the shower.

Apparently, the minute the water hit me, I rather loudly said "WTF am I doing in the shower!?"

At this point, I ditched my wet clothes, grabbed a towel, and crawled back into bed.

Smelnick was asleep for the whole thing, and my grandma said she'd thought she dreamed the whole thing (she'd only heard what had happened, she didn't actually get up to see, thank God)

I have absolutely no memory of this happening; I was asleep for the whole thing.

I used to sleepwalk a lot as a kid, so this isn't exactly the first time this has happened.

It's a really bizarre feeling; I remember waking up in weird places, stuff like that.

Any of you ever have a sleepwalking incident, or something similar?


Problematic Shitlord
That is kind of awesome, I won't lie.

My brother did something similar when he was about 13. He woke up at 3 AM, thinking it was time for school so my dad woke up shortly after him and found him dressed and eating cereal all droopy eyed.


Supreme System Lord
Great stuff buddy.

I like the term 'Crawled into bed', very casual.

I'm glad you can see the funny side of a very natural and common problem.


Creeping On You
Well there was this one time, I was drinking, but I'd already started to sober up. I decided to do some arts and crafts. Using a utility knife and a pop bottle. I started cutting the pop bottle. The knife slipped, and 'kashinnnngggg!' the knife sliced deep into my finger. I was like, 'uh oh'. No big deal, i've cut myself this deep before. But because I'd been drinking, it was bleeding like a bitch. So I wrapped it up tight, got it to stop bleeding, and and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up about 11am the next day. Late for work and feeling like shit. So whatever, picked up the phone from my nightstand and phoned the boss, called in sick, and went back to sleep. Woke up about 2pm. Got out of bed to take a piss and was like 'WTF?' There was blood everywhere. It looked like I murdered someone or something.

What I figured happened is this. I was obviously delirious from the alcohol, and my blood was way thinned. Apparently, I'd gotten up in the middle of the night and gone for a walk. There was a blood trail down the hallway in the apartment building, to the door, and down the sidewalk outside, for a couple blocks, and then it comes back, and up the other set of stairs, down the hallway back to my apartment. Blood all over the outside of my door. My apartment was absolutely covered in blood. My kitchen floor, bathroom, hallway area, walls. Blood everywhere. The bandage on my hand was completely soaked in blood, and my hand was covered in dried blood. Apparently I'd gone wandering around with a blood soaked hand. lol. So it took me hours to clean up the blood. Surprisingly, there was no blood in my bed. Wierd stuff.