2nd chances or more

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Monroe, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. Monroe

    Monroe Registered Member

    Me and my boy of almost 6 years have been on and off for nearly our whole relationship due to cheating (his, not mine), meeting new people, drunken fights,etc.

    We met when I was 16 (him 19) so we're a little more mature now. Im wondering if this will EVER completely work.

    The longest we've been apart is 2 months, and we always get back together.

    Any of you get back into a relationship multiple times? Does this ever work?
    Currently we're together again, and marriage is something we talk about.
    I want to marry him, but...I want us to work.

    Any thoughts?
     

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Maybe you both like arguing and making up. Maybe you do it without realising it because you enjoy getting back together. Lots of couples are into weird things like that.
    You have to talk about what you want out of the relationship and listen to each other. If I was always arguing with my boyfriend then I'd want it to stop and obviously you do too.
    If you want a future together then you have to talk through your problems. Maybe you're finding it hard to move on from him cheating on you. Talk to him about it. Do you trust him?
     
  3. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    it's strange that you got back with him though he cheated on you anyway that is your business.
    i don't know what the chemical reaction that is not keeping you apart from him ... but from what you're saying i think it's time to let him go. maybe i'm not right on jumping on conclusions like this ... but i would never would like to marry with someone who cheated on me.[and someone i fight with, all the time]
    you need to be hundred percent sure he's the right one and that you're made for each other.
     
  4. Monroe

    Monroe Registered Member

    Bliss, that was a very different point of view.
    Maybe we do enjoy what we do.
    Now that I think about it, I kindof do find it fun to date someone else then get back together. It renews our relationship.
    But I end up feeling guilty about the other guys, and I can't really say anything in my defense about it. I've hurt guys, no doubt, but I guess that's off topic...

    As for the cheating, I guess I should've been more specific. Yes he has cheated, and this was a couple years ago. He hasn't recently.

    I still do have a hard time with 100% trust, but he feels the same, so we're working on that together.

    Sometimes I feel it would be best if we broke it off and had no further communication with eachother, but then other times I can't see myself without him after being together for so long.

    Its a hard choice regardless in my opinion.
     
  5. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    To me, it doesn't sound like the type of relationship I'd want to be in at all. Getting back into a relationship multiple times is something I couldn't do. I dunno, maybe you both thrive off drama? But that would cause huge problems for a marriage.. Also, you say "we're currently together." Think that could change soon?
     
  6. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    I've only done this twice, and the last time she did the same thing I said I'd never get back with her and I haven't talked to her in a long time and I don't plan to.
     
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    My longest relationship, prior to this marriage, is with my ex I stayed 4 years with. We didn't have big drama fights but we had cool off periods. I guessed one of the reasons we kept coming back together (aside from my martyrdom) is that we're used to being together. Sometimes when people have been together for a long time, it's not uncommon to stick around by habit. There's also a part of you that may be bored with the current status of relationship and the mistake is thinking jumping into the next level, aka marriage, is the solution because it gives you something else to deal with (a new dimension for the relationship).
     

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