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[17+ Swearing, sex w/ food, whole 9 yards] The Master of Bater


I thought it time to post a rap of mine. So without further ado, I am proud to present, the "Master of Bater"

I'm tha master of bater, mastered the force like Vader//
cottage cheese 'n butter beans I get my lubricants catered//
I got lubricant waiters, order some bread 'n tomaters//
and what I don't fuck, stuff in a to-go box 'n fuck it later//
got a thing for vaseline, sour cream and saliva...//
lyrically spit 'n scribble, while I spit slap and dribble//
pivot swivvle my dick 'n spit in 360 like irrigation//
rubbin so hard that I got a penal skin irritation!//
commense tha smackin 'n slappin, spank crank 'n dick shake//
I'll come to ya stupid kid's birthday party and fuck the cupcakes//
I'm the one that fucked the jelly 'n put it back in the fridge//
I'm the one that had the string cheese wrapped all over my dick//
I'm the one you saw at Kroger drillin holes in cucumbers//
got more Woody than Toy Story; dick's harder than lumber//
I like to lie on the ground, with my dick standin up//
I ain't lyin to yall, I really don't give a fuck//
stick my dick in Playdough, if it won't give a nut//
I like to fart, take a shit then slather cheese on my butt//
but so what? got a problem cus ya boy is horny?//
do you understand, wakin up erect in tha morning?//
have you ever fucked a glass of soggy Saltine crackers?//
has your dick ever been straighter than an ascended laddar?//
could ya tell me 'bout, jackin off with Bush's Baked Beans?//
have ya ever been asleep bustin a nut in your dreams?//
when you step in ya jeans, does it strain on tha seams?//
"Can I jack you off?"...bitch there ain't no playin with me//
I'm a fuckin solo artist! there ain't a "K" in "team"//
I could fuck anything! with a little handcream....//
got a mat, where I jack, so my carpet stays clean...//
got a sack, where I stash, all my jackin off things//
tissues oils 'n lotions, thats tha magical potion//
moanin groanin 'n stroakin, toilet paper I'm soakin//
tha rooster cool with me, cus it's tha chicken I'm chokin,//
safety goggles on face, so I can keep my eyes open//
and I'm hopin some day, my girl friend will drop her draws//
'til then one hand on dick, the other hand on my balls//
su - supa sick, freak ~ nasty, if you was freaky
you, wouldnt be ~ laughing, bitches slap ~ me//
cus I talk, dirty when I'm extra horny....
fuck beatin with righty dry cus that's extra boring...//
bitch get on my nerves look out! facial while she sleep//
wakin up, face stuck, to tha bed sheets...yea...//
I don't give a damn, cus I'm open bout my stroakin//
penis poppin out my pants, ain't no way that I could cloak it//
mic ~ masta, dick ~ blasta, verbal ecstacy//
yall couldn't come close to this talent jackin off next to me//
n fuck a fake, frontin faggot claim they never beat...//
gettin defensive offended cus they tryin to act street//
drivin down tha street.....recessive hand on their meat//
can't get out the fuckin car, cus they stuck to the seat//
come to class in baggy pants, jus to hide they erection//
I don't give a mother fuck I let it point like directions//
when it comes to produce, bitches I got connections//
'n that's serious, from a masturbater's perspective//
I got employees constantly scheamin on tha down low//
gettin me anything I require from the grocery sto'//
carrots broccli n lettuce, vegetational fetish//
I fucked so many tomatos I think my dick turnin reddish//
though I'm always on screen so I don't know how red it gets//
toilet paper wrapped around it cus I know how wet it gets//
my dick's always stimulated like I fucked amphetamins//
even lacto bitches beggin for my milky medicines//
when I stop, I'ma let cha know; till then I'ma let it flow//
pass a dyme in the hall watch my penis grrrooowwwww//


Ms. Malone
Oh my god, that is just....weird...and sick. But either way it was funny. Nice work.


Problematic Shitlord
I'm going to go take a shower now . . . ???

I guess, something good to say would be that you have pride. However, did you know that excessive masturbation can lead to premature ejaculation problems? Your girl might not even drop her pants before you blow out of yours :D

Lyrically it was shiggity-schweet, I'll have to give you that.


Hahahahaha, this was a fun thing to write.

Yes I am a lyrical genious. Lmao

About that premature stuff...yeah maybe so, but I can go for about 2-3 more before I'm done. :)


you need to team up w/ my x gf, being the most creative 2 people in existance.
this chick loves reading stuff like that. lolz
interesting work krus


x_x krus...gdamn son, nobodys called me that in like 2 years...OLD schooool :D

she sound interesting lmao tell her to join this place


Registered Member
Lol that's hilarious. How long did it take you to think of that? And you must have been bored to think of that lol.


O.O wow.. er.. interesting.. nice choice of words. have you ever thought of raping?


i used to..lol

i have over 100 some raps jus on my computer somewhere...dunno where they are
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