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11 year old hellraiser is single handedly turning our neighborhood into a ghetto

Double-R

Registered Member
Let me put my 2 cents in here...

I see kids going down the streets every day here with their pants drooping half off their ass, with mouths that make a sailor look like Mr. Rogers, and I can't help but realize that - when it comes to discipline in this country, we've gotten soft. All of a sudden, some parents are scared to spank a child on fears of getting ACS called on them.

Seriously? These kids are getting away with shit that I never could when I was a kid. If I'dda done half the shit that they're doing right now - calling women bitches and hoes, beating down other kids, jackin' stuff from a store, staying out all hours of the night - I'dda gotten my ass whooped every day on the regular, you feel me? Some of these kids don't know what authority or respect is, period. Now I'm not going to say that there aren't some parents out there that instill this idea in them but back then, there wasn't time out. There were spankin and an ass whoopin, and a smack that would take the taste out of your mouth if I ever answered anyone authoritative over me the way these kids do.

Am I saying beat the shit out of these kids til they're bruised and injured? No. That's abuse and I've had to witness that sort of thing happen to a best friend of mine when I was in 2nd grade. That's a reason to call ACS and get the child out of that house. Not for a spanking or a well-deserved tapa-de-boca (slap in the mouth. I've seen too many news stories of real abuse to know the difference.

As for me - when I do have my kids - if I have to discipline them physically, I will do it not to hurt them, not to injure them, and certainly not to abuse them. I will spank my son and I will slap him across the face if he ever came out his face to me, to his mother, or anyone else older than him but, that is going to be my last resort. I'm going to talk to him first - man to man. He wants respect, he has to give it.

I will not lay a hand on my daughter because I was raised never, ever to hit a woman. That's gonna be Mommy's department and I'll discuss that with whoever the woman is that I'd be lucky enough to marry.
 

kitchendame

Registered Member
I think some of the problem with discipline is that we have a tendency to think in absolutes, so if someone advocates spanking we automatically think they mean spanking as the only form of discipline. That I don't agree with.

But I do believe that sometimes a spanking is deserved and necessary, and if it is meted out without vilifying the child as you do so--that is, without showing a loss of control--then it is showing a very proper concern for how your child is learning to behave in society and toward you and your standards as a parent.

My mother, bless her, raised us at a time when there were more theories than solutions, and no one really could say if spanking, reasoning with the child, punishing in some other way or leaving the child to raise itself was best. I know mom didn't like spanking us, though she did on many an occasion, but she would also try other forms of punishment such as withholding treats or making us stand in a corner; she was willing to try anything, she had 8 kids. Speaking personally, some worked and some didn't, and I never forgot what was effective for keeping me well-behaved. I grew up pretty well-adjusted, I have what I like to think of as excellent manners, I am kind to people and I love my mother with all my heart.

Ultimately, I think a smack on the bottom is good up until about 6. After that other punishments coupled with a great deal of reasoning are more effective. If you get to 11 years old and display behavior like that, there is a serious problem with the child and the parents, and we're no longer talking about a discipline problem but more serious consequences, such as taking him out of a lax environment or mandatory therapy for the whole family.

And good for you for not letting the 11-year old hellraiser get away with it. That is the most damaging thing of all.
 
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