How does sex change a relationship?

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Wade8813, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Pretty simple question - in what ways does sex change a relationship? Does the effect vary a lot? What factors influence the effect it will have?
     
  2. Smelnick

    Smelnick Creeping On You Staff Member V.I.P.

    I think it changes everything. Sex is the final thing you can do in a relationship. It's the point where everything culminates. When you have sex, you're getting super close and vulnerable and intimate with that person. From what I've seen of couples over the years, you can always tell when they've finally had sex. They seem to act differently around each other. If they're married or in a long term relationship, they get all cutesy and act all lovey dovey. Like super lovey dovey. However, I've seen times where they've only just started going out and you can tell it's made things awkward for them. So I say that sex definitely does change the relationship.
     
  3. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    It's the ultimate act of love. It can be a beautiful thing if you want it to be. This is why I think sex should be between two people that love each other because the feelings involved and the connection you share is really hard to describe. I refuse to believe that two people having no strings attached sex can have as good a time together as two people who are deeply in love.
    I definitely think you become closer. And a cuddle after sex makes me feel so many things. Great things!
     
  4. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P.

    That is not always true. I know couples who've been in a relationship for more than 3 years or even live together and they don't act all lovey dovey.
    I think it depends on the couple. Some show PDA a lot and other don't.
     
  5. Merc

    Merc likes burritos V.I.P.

    There are certainly variables but assuming the two people like each other and the sex isn't a complete disaster, then all that really happens is they get closer to one another. It's an indescribable intimacy that you cannot comprehend without experiencing it.
     
  6. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    I think it does. it can destroy or strengthen a relationship. it's like this (and try to not cum too hard, amy) that one episode of sex in the city where samantha waits to have sex with a guy, only for it to be horrible.
     
    Bliss likes this.
  7. Millz

    Millz Black 7! Staff Member V.I.P.

    It does change a relationship but hopefully always for the better! I agree that is it the apex of a relationship and there's nothing you can do with someone to become closer to them.

    I think that whenever you're ready it's okay to do it as long as you two care for each other.
     
  8. Yeah, it definitely changes things in a relationship, whether it's a serious one or just friends messing around. Things rarely stay the same. How much it changes things, that really depends on the people & the situation. It's not always a change for the good. Ha.
     
  9. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    I guess a related question would be - if it changes the relationship for the worse, why? Is it basically "Good sex improves the relationship, bad sex hurts it"?
     
  10. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P.

    It depends on how much sex is important for the couple.
    If it's the most important thing then bad sex could ruin the relationship.

    But I think that if two people really love each other, bad sex could be improved and if it doesn't ...the couple can still survive.
     
  11. whiteraven

    whiteraven Registered Member

    Firstly, if your in love with the person then, sex can bring to people closer together. My belief has always been the love and sex go together. But now a days theres people just have casual sex because they know it feels good.
    Sex should never be just something you need to do or have really. Relationships with sex can and will get better stronger. But what should I know my last relaionship was years and years ago.
     
  12. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    If the sex is all you have then it's not a relationship. If you break up for that reason then you never had enough to make it last in the first place.
    I guess for some people that's the be all and end all. I didn't start my relationship having sex. I was in love with him before then.
     
  13. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P.

    I have an example for you, and sorry if it gets a bit graphic.

    Say that the couple has sex, or maybe the female has performed oral on the male. Say that the male enjoyed it so much, he is constantly making comments or asking her to do it all the time.

    Now, sometimes that can be taken as a compliment...but after awhile if this female is orally pleasuring the male without getting any returns, so to speak...then it definitely hurts the relationship.

    Maybe people don't have the time anymore, and all sexual encounters turn into "quickies" which could leave less time for one party not to be very satisfied.




    Personally, I find that in my relationship, we argue a lot less when we're having sex regularly.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2012
  14. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I don't think it's the final thing you can do in a relationship, although it's a major step. Also likewise, someone in a longterm relationship, even if they've had sex before, might not act cutesy lovely each time they do it.

    Sex does change a relationship's dynamic. Be it having sex with your partner, or a friend, or a stranger. The effects vary depending on your relationship with that person, your views about sex, your level of sexual desire, your sexual compatibility and if sex was satisfactory or not.

    It's easy to blame sex in a relationship but I personally believe that relationships highly affected by lack of sex or bad sex have more issues beyond it, perhaps related to insecurity, lack of connection or communication, or even just unfulfilled expectations in a relationship (that some try to band-aid with sex).

    Also, if someone isn't ready for it it can create awkward moments after that a couple don't automatically talk about (despite having passed through such an intimate act) because we grow up in an environment that doesn't allow really to be open about such things.

    Dealing with consequences of sex is another thing that can make a relationship go bad.
     

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